… and more importantly, do you want to dissolve them?
Let’s start with exploring what I mean by ‘Enemy Image’.

It’s the thought that strongly says there is something very wrong with the person whose actions, values are out of alignment with mine. It’s not just a one-off judgment, it’s a pretty ‘stuck’ one. And (almost) everything that person says or does is seen through the lens that they are just WRONG! As it is different from the fleeting judgments we may have of people, these enemy images often show up in long-term family relations, friendships and work spaces.

Why is it so hard to dissolve them? Because it’s hard to believe that those who are doing things far outside of our value system are human beings like the rest of us. It’s very challenging. Easier to de-humanise them and write them off as the enemy – and put them behind bars -, albeit often subconsciously.

And yet it comes with quite a cost to our mental well-being. Seeing others as ‘enemies’ can activate our threat-detection system and put us in a fight-or-flight mode. Not fun! As these thoughts often come with anger and resentment towards others, it consumes a lot of our precious mental energy.
Because we revert to the ‘good vs. bad’ thinking, this can limit our capacity for empathy. And think about this… when we project our hostility outward, it often bounces back inward – which may then bring up guilt, shame or even harsh self-criticism.

Having read all this, I trust you can see that dissolving these enemy images may be a life-serving thing to do?

But how?

I came across a process to can help us dissolve one enemy image at a time.
Here you will find a basic outline of the practice. With gratitude to François Beausoleil, a fellow CNVC Certified Trainer.

I wish you courage and determination to become aware of your dehumanising images. And I’ll finish with a quote from Marshall Rosenberg: