August and September saw me experiencing two very big events:
Life and Death.

In August my dear friend Kris died at home in his beloved yurt. He chose voluntary refusal of food and fluids as his way to have the ultimate choice. During the last 12 days of his life I had the privilege of being part of a very close community of carers. I have no words to describe this experience.
Exactly a month later, I was present when a close friend gave birth to her son. I was blown away by that experience too. Never before have I realised how dying and bringing forth life both require such a surrendering.

The thing that struck me the most during these last weeks, is how I experienced my feelings as a washing machine… one that is doing its cycle and tumbles around. Each moment a different piece of clothing shows itself through the door window. You get the picture?

My emotions tumbled around, just like that. One moment grief was near the door window and the next thing I notice is joy, then awe, then sadness…

According to Harvard educated neuroscientist, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, the lifespan of an emotion only last 90 seconds. When we experience a strong emotion, a cascade of chemical events unfold, such as the a spike of adrenaline or the release of cortisol. Because your body is always trying to maintain a state of balance, these chemicals get flushed out of your body in about 90 seconds.

I have intellectually known this for a while, but to experience it so intensely has brought more awareness that all these emotions co-exist and that they take turns showing themselves. And with that comes the invitation to just ‘be’ with them and neither name them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Because next minute (eh, 90 seconds) they are gone and a little while later they might be back!